Date : Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Time : 11:22 AM
Title :

Goodbye Monday, Hello Tuesday and Soon Friday :)

Practical was sort of fun today cos I understand the procedure & Zakee and I were the 1st grp to finish I think, rare la, hahah but report wasn't that easy and I forgot to take a pic of my blueprint & crystals :( Crystallisation, I love it the most as I have been doing it for 6 mths due to my fyp. And yea Ms Chong kept warning us that Potassium Oxalate is very toxic and try not to bring those stuffs U brought into the lab into your bedroom. Hmm, but my notes are lying ard in my room now. So yea, incase I die means I got poisoned by Potassium Oxalate k.

Shall bring my digi next week for phototaking with new friends! But then, we still didn't managed to crash the morning tutorial class. Anyway, going to Organic tutorial is just a waste of time cos I don't understand and it only makes me more sad & confused. But no worries, I am not in the sad mode at the moment :) Maybe not now but some other days..
Saw my Modern Chem results, 9/20, not that bad ald but still the same old thing, even if U study real hard but U just can't score U see..My friends were also sad when they saw their results, don't worry la, U guys can do it as U have the willpower to overcome this torturing course.

Valerie told me ytd that might have to pay back tuition grant if withdraw or change course, scare me. After checking, U don't have to pay back if U withdraw b4 the 1st 2 wks of a new sem BUT, I will have to surrender my matriculation card. DAMN, why they wanna take back if they can just deactivate everything?! I want it as a memento T_T though I think ez link card won't be taken back just that U pay adult fare..SIAN. I was even thinking to report lost so that I get to keep my card but then replacement fee is ard $20!!! So ex for a piece of card, might as well just scan it right =.=

Driving later followed by dumb Maths lesson at 4.30pm. SHIT! My mum & I together with my auntie & Uncle are in JB now shopping. So gd! I am really jealous of my sis! hahaha remember to buy things for me yea!
Then had a very last min dinner appt with Pui Sauw ytd. Met her at Clementi as she just finished her 1st exam paper, gd luck yo! And if I really study Business Management, hahaha I can consult her! :) Dinner at Astons-The Cathay. My fav hangout, luckly we got there early to avoid the crazy queue. I love Astons for their food! :P I am basically slacking my Monday away, cos TV therapy the whole night followed by painting of nails! I painted red this time.

Lee Min Ho was in the newspaper ytd, so handsome my bf. HAHAHA, later get whacked by people out there. He mentioned that he lighted 200 candles along of a walkway of a church, arghh damn romantic! Most probably I will be stunned and cry if my bf does that to me, HAHAH but I think must wait 9999999 *meaning nv ever happen*~ I can say almost all girls will melt if that happens to them cos it's really sweet *I see bees flying ard* for a guy to do that.

I am pissed off with facebook now. Can't log in to my account as they wrote that my account is temporarily unavailable when I can log in to my mum's acc! WHY?!
2009 is ending soon, a pretty fast year and I don't really like 2009, a mixture of happy & unhappy events. I doubt my wish will come true this year, it's alright cos everything is predestined :) Hopefully, Nov will be a better month though most likely not cos exams period but I do have quite many Birthday parties to attend next month. No running away for my grandma's 80th on the 22nd though I have papers from 24th onwards. SIAN..But I am sure Dec will be a better 1 cos I am having Christmas mood, also holiday to Melbourne and shall have class gathering in Dec too!

PS: Just saw the news, body world is here again! Who wanna go??

Their mushroom soup is nice and worth the price so is their fish & chips :)

Date : Sunday, October 25, 2009
Time : 8:23 PM
Title :

Feeling lethargic and I think my face shows it all. I really can't wait for holidays to be here, I need a break. It's too stressful now. My sis will be having 2 days off from sch, so gd. I am green with envy! Thus, I am dragging myself to go sch tmr. Hopefully lab finishes by 11.30am so I can crash the 11.30's tutorial lesson :) E learning next week but don't really looked like e learning since we gt to be back for some modules =.= Dumb..

Had mini class gathering ytd to celebrate Jonathan's 21st Birthday. Had lunch buffet at Kushin Bo Suntec. Well, I don think the food worth the price so yep no more going back there the next time :) Yi Pei said I looked rounder now, haizz salad la..Time for dieting!

Date : Friday, October 23, 2009
Time : 11:49 PM
Title :

I am sorry. I guess I made alot of people including my family and friends worry about me.
This is part and parcel of life, something I have to go through at this point of time. In life, there are some ups & downs and I guess I am experiencing this now. Was really down when I gt back my Organic Chem test on Tue. Worst results ever in my life, flunk it badly :( The more I thought of it, I gt more emotional and finally I reached the breaking point and broke down when I reached home. I hardly cry for tests/exams, okie la sometimes like thermo hahah. My family were shocked and tried to tell me it's okie, just a 7% test, try harder again the next time.

Well, I had a hard time sleeping that night, felt really lost and thought about what's next as interest wasn't really there anymore and also grades wasn't that fantastic either. Told my parents about my plans and they were supportive of it, after discussing with my dad, I decided to apply for the RMIT-Business Management Jan intake though I hope there's an option where I can defer to Aug. Of course, I am still unsure which route I will take until the day comes but I know it takes alot of courage to withdraw as U won't know if it's a wise decision and there's no turning back. 10 weeks in NTU, made new friends not forgetting existing friends like Li Mei & Cai Hong and can't bear to say bye too. Hahah and they really very funny, they say if I pass all my modules then they treat me makan. Thanks gals, I know U are stress too yet U all still encourage me to press on, appreciate it alot! :) And Li Mei damn playful one loh, always tease me, tsk tsk. hahah she wans to be MM!

I am no longer a small gal, I gt to make decisions in life though I really wish that my parents will settle everything for me =X hahah opps just joking..But through this, I really can feel the love from my family members, arghh I feel like a mummy's & daddy's girl :) Not forgetting my friends that kept on encouraging me in 1 way or another, U peeps know who U are :)
After school today, went SIM to register. 1 thing less to worry about. Called the wrong person daddy, so paiseh. Cos I called my dad to inform him abt the details b4 registering and Chua picked up my dad's phone. Then my cousin said, I nt ur daddy, ur daddy on the other line, asked him to call U back later. Then Yvonne and I went back to our Back to the old school visit! SP rocks! But unfair eh, now upgrade till so nice esp the lib!!! Getting late, shall update again later. Busy day I foresee :)

The Teh ice from foodcourt 4. My fav though standard like drop ald...


Tired looking face from all those stress. But camwhoring was still fun :)

Comfortable chairs, nice n cosy environment for couples to hang out. hahahah no need to go cafe, just go SP!!!
The tall and the short which is ME :( Nice chit chat session today.

Date : Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Time : 10:08 AM
Title :

Week after week, day after day. I am just getting more and more tired and unhappy. I know my parents are worried and sad but I have no choice. Uni is just so tough that the giving up feeling is lingering around me. Those that know me well shld know that I have quite strong determination but then determination no longer works here. Doesn't mean that if U are determined enough, U will just pull through this stage, not so simple now.. I just feel as if I am like a rubber band, going to snap anytime. Maths tmr, I gt a strong feeling that I will be stunned when I looked at the qns just like tutorials. Crying has been a way to relieve stress for me in the past but no longer anymore now. So tired that I hope that exams can end as fast as possible so that I can rest mentally & physically in dec to decide what is next..

*EDITED*
In life, there are many decisions U have to make. As U grow older, the decisions become more important as it will decides ur future. But, 1 wrong decision might not be the end of the world as U can still decide again though it takes a longer time to reach ur destination. I shall make mine in Dec. :)
My dad came to my room last night and had a chat with me. I knew what he wanna say and I broke into tears even b4 started talking. Told him that I am under tremendous stress, smth that I never experienced so much in the past. And he told me to study what I can if cannot then decide again, just like what I mentioned b4 to see my results and if I m interested in continuing chemistry in dec. He told me that there's nth to be ashamed abt, don't have to care what ppl think but what matter the most is if U like what U r studying. Then told him maybe will study Business in SIM and he says he's fine with it but I gt to be very serious in choosing this time and touch wood if it doesn't work out again then he will help me decide what's next. Shall let God decides what's next..

Date : Sunday, October 18, 2009
Time : 11:56 PM
Title :

Good girls gone bad..

Was 1 week ago since I last blogged, many things happened during this 1 week, mainly due to emotions resulting from stress. Yep, still stress now but I guess everyone is feeling it regardless if U r studying, in NS or at work. From each his best and we shall just wait and see what god plans for us. I got back my Biochemistry, to my surprise I pass 70.5/100 but wait, there are ppl getting 100 =.= Then Physics was hell, I gt 4/10 so it means a pass in final year will be enough for me :) Deepavali break tmr but makes no diff, I still gt to mug for Maths MST on tue and Modern Chem on fri. How nice if life can be so simple. Got influenced by Li Mei ald cos she said her ambition is to be a housewife. LOL but then nope my ambition nt that, just that how nice if can fast-forward to the life after school. :) Anyway, can't wait for friday to come before I can take a short break and gathering with friends on Sat! :)

I dreamt of alot of stuffs these few nights. Wed night's dream was a weird one. Everything was so real and I really feel that I am talking to her and she's telling me the reason behind something. Then I woke up after the dream ended and I can't sleep for 1h as I was wondering why I dreamt of that. But well, it don't really matters anymore now, I am happy to have U as my friend.
Ytd, I watched this Thai movie called Mor 3 Pee 4 Rao Ruk Nai. Highly recommended peeps! I find it quite real and touching, showing how love blossoms in msn and also in real life. So romantic till I cried non stop until I gt blocked nose. Not forgetting the amount of tissue papers I wasted. Hehe, the guy is also very handsome! I guess, I will "melt" if it happens on me. Sincerity is the magic word but also the feeling matters too..

Did alot of things today. Mugged Maths b4 going for dinner at Pu Tien- Kitchener Road. Gosh, really love their food! Reasonable price, good food and good service, hard to come by. Very humble boss till his son gt to help serve the dishes despite his status. This is smth that many of us should learn from :) Everyone is equal in this world, no such thing as status. Then after that, we went to the new shopping mall- CitySquare to walk around. Not that bad, I think even better than Compass Point loh. Was telling my sis about the pic I used to imagine, arghh how sweet that is right? Though, abit paiseh, but I really wonder when will this day come :)



I found this drink at home. Eh, not bad leh like bubble tea. I am a tea-lover!

Date : Sunday, October 11, 2009
Time : 8:14 PM
Title :

Born to suffer, that's what I feel now. My heart feels very heavy when I think about those tests and exams and the many more years to come. Really stress, this bad feeling is smth that I have nv experienced before. Studying should be a very happy process no matter how stressful I am, just like what I did in poly. But, I don feel it that way anymore and that's bad I know. So, I can only tell myself to endure and do my best for now and I am prepared to take that step if I really have to do so. Anyway, I have the dec holidays to think abt what I really want cos everything now is not what I have expected and I am doubting my choice now. As, there is a saying that if U really like something, even if it's difficult, U won't find it stressful and unhappy to study it. But I am not feeling it this way, so the path infront of me seems so blur now.

Physics test on friday, something which I don't like but I realised now I dislike chemistry too..So many things to worry about. Life is so meaningless now or maybe I should say studying life. But no worries, no suicidal thoughts cos whatever it is, I know my family will be supporting my decision and also thanks friends for being my ears. To think back, I actually made 2 shocking decisions last time, 1 during my sec sch days which I know my mum shld be quite sad cos I changed from pure science to combined when I gt my sec2 streaming results which was 7 in level position which was considered to be nt that bad. But hahah, I still think it was a right choice.
Then, when I gt my Os result, poly route was always on my mind cos the dumb me only wanted to go SAJC at that time n if can't then no JC for me. Chemical Eng or Business, well I chose Chemical Eng cos I was wilful as everyone told me Business suits me more so wanted to prove them wrong and I guess my parents were pretty happy abt that decision. And I can say that I didn't regret too. So I wonder if there will be a 3rd time to do crazy decisions anot.

Now, I can't wait for everything to be over when I can really take a good break in dec to recharge and decide. Nobody knows what will happen in the future and I believed everything is planned for us, when is time to go through this stage, U can't hide away from it and just have to go through it. I know this is a very emotional post and I am sure that my mum will get very worried when she reads this tmr but nah mummy I will just endure till this sem ends cos whatever it is, I paid school fees ald, hahah.

Nothing much happened last week except for dinner last fri with my sec sch friends. And I am sorry if I look moodless cos I am tired and also becos of my stomach cramps :( Sushi buffet, I shall stop eating sushi for a few months cos the thought of sushi now makes me wanna puke, hahah. Okie, I noticed I have been whining alot ever since I started sch and I hate it cos life shld be Smiles Aplenty right? But, sadly not the case for me now. But I shall try to find back the optimistic me *Joshua said that I was optimistic back in poly*, well I don't know that I give U guys such impression la, hahah. Anyway, my msn lists looks quite pathetic now, all the guys r in NS now so yep, msn is so quiet these days. I miss those poly days when we crapped alot in msn!

How I wish life can be that simple, sometimes I really envy my mum though I know she has stuffs to worry about too like eh, U eat ald? etc..hahah okie can't wait for this wkend to come cos Deepavali on Monday but again, it will be mugging time. That's why I am so sick of this kind of life now... Ohh yea, I finally took my TP date. 18 Dec, abt 2 more months to go!

Date : Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Time : 6:54 PM
Title :

Everything is drifting away slowly..but I hope it's just my illusion.

School started barely 2 days and I am feeling tired not to mention I pon my Maths today to mug at home. And I feel guilty abt ponning.. Maths Quiz tmr, got a feeling I will also be stuck at part b cos I look thru notes n qns can't find examples dealing with that kind of function.. Weird format for Forensic quiz, shade OAS infront of a big screen which will flash the qns for 1min each, which means if U shade wrongly then GG but hahah can "consult" friends if U don know..
Biochemistry on Thu, seems to be a very formal quiz and that scares me. Hopefully, everything will be fine. God bless me again! hahah need to add again cos I foresee never ending blessing I need during my years in NTU. LOL

The thought of the many tests in the coming weeks makes me sian but I have gt no choice cos I need to go through the bitter stage b4 I can enjoy the sweetness. At the moment, what keeps me going will be Sushi buffet with my friends this friday! :)

Date : Sunday, October 04, 2009
Time : 10:55 PM
Title :

REWIND BACK THE TIME to last week! Haven recharged enough and finished studying. GG Recess week is over, got to face reality again, a tough n hectic one I foresee. 3 tests this week, kill me pls. But I fear the physics one more which is next wk.. Looking at the calender, I think I have 5 wks of sch left? cos got to minus away study week & e learning. Then exams starts officially on 20 Nov to 2 Dec, arghh another big hurdle b4 I can take a long break. I can't wait for 19 Oct when it's deepavali! A holiday on Monday! Damn sian to go back sch tmr, awaiting for wkends to arrive :(

Lots of my friends going to enlist during this coming week. Good Luck and Take Care boys and hahah come out as Men when they complete the 2 years of NS like some of my friends whom will ORD pretty soon..Freedom at last but stress when U start sch after 2 long years of break.

Date : Friday, October 02, 2009
Time : 10:45 PM
Title :

Date :
Time : 1:12 AM
Title :

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew.. Apparently, a huge disappointment in myself or U?? I don't know.

8 years back, I was still celebrating Childrens' Day. 4 years back still celebrating Youth Day. After that, no more such holidays :( Holidays get lesser & lesser as our age increases, so unfair right? More workloads but lesser rest days, life is tiring.
Anyway, Happy Childrens' Day to all including myself cos I am always a child in my parents' eyes :)

Saw Jermaine's checklist on facebook. Thanks gal for the dates for all the horrible tests lining up waiting for me once recess ends. Li mei & Cai Hong, got maths test 3 on Tue/Wed!!! I shall write here to remind myself:


I will be so dead cos every papers equals killer module to me. Can't imagine mugging for all these papers in such a short time. Stress is the word to describe my feeling now. Tired is the word to describe the state I am in now. How I wish recess week will never end or perhaps 1 more wk is enough but FAT HOPE. I only wish to rewind back time to last Sat so I can mug all over again. Because, I have wasted so many days slacking. I only finished reading through FS once and have not finished all the 5 chapters of Biochem, not to mention start revision for the rest of the modules. Gosh, hopefully I am able to finish Biochem/Maths/Forensic revision by Sunday :)
That means I have got to stop watching my HK drama-D.I.E Again or else I will really DIE for my papers. hahah but I only got 8 more episodes to go, so how?

Anyway, tagboard seems to be abit cranky, can't seem to tag so I shall comment here.

To JOYCE THE GREAT: Welcome! But don't get lost again next time, remember to count the 6th bus stop only when the bus gets into NTU. LOL, the next time U come, I will lay red carpets to welcome U okie? And cya later!!! Though I can't stay that long to gossip.
I gt a date with ??? MY NOTES, BOO HOOO T_T

To Joshua: Eh, why must U flood/spam my tagboard with ur 1 or maybe 2 sentences??

BACK TO THE OLD SCHOOL ! To be continued~